Saint Silouan often struggled with great despondency and felt that God did not hear him. However, one day when he was a Novice, he saw Christ and became filled with the Grace of the Holy Spirit.
“Don’t be troubled if you don’t feel the Love of God in yourself, but think about the Lord, that He is Merciful, and guard yourself from sins, and the Grace of God will teach you.”
This Grace however left Saint Silouan not long after, and he spent fifteen years in anguish Praying to Christ for His Grace to come again, and to be able to Pray with a pure mind.
Father Silouan sat down again, and with bowed head and aching heart he Prayed, “Lord, Thou seest that I desire to Pray to Thee with a pure mind but the devils will not let me. Instruct me, what must I do to stop them hindering me?” And in his Soul he heard, “The proud always suffer from devils.” “Lord,” said Silouan, “teach me what I must do that my Soul may become humble.” Once more, his heart heard God’s answer, “Keep thy mind in hell, and despair not.”