This Grace however left Saint Silouan not long after, and he spent fifteen years in anguish Praying to Christ for His Grace to come again, and to be able to Pray with a pure mind.
Father Silouan sat down again, and with bowed head and aching heart he Prayed, “Lord, Thou seest that I desire to Pray to Thee with a pure mind but the devils will not let me. Instruct me, what must I do to stop them hindering me?” And in his Soul he heard, “The proud always suffer from devils.” “Lord,” said Silouan, “teach me what I must do that my Soul may become humble.” Once more, his heart heard God’s answer, “Keep thy mind in hell, and despair not.”
“The Lord does not show Himself to a proud Soul. The proud Soul, no matter how many books it reads, will never know God, since by its pride it does not give place for the Grace of the Holy Spirit, while God is known only by the humble Soul.”
“Understand two thoughts, and fear them. One says, “You are a Saint,” the other, “You won’t be Saved.” Both of these thoughts are from the enemy, and there is no truth in them. But think this way: I am a great sinner, but the Lord is Merciful. He loves people very much, and He will forgive my sins.”